After spending three amazing weeks in the Peruvian Amazon last year, I’ve been asked countless times about my ayahuasca experience, so I wanted to share it with others. While each person’s journey is unique, I wanted to share practical insights that might help others considering this profound adventure.
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My Month in Peru: What Nobody Tells You About Ayahuasca Retreats
Let me be honest. When I told people I was going to Peru to try ayahuasca, reactions ranged from “you’re so brave” to “are you having a midlife crisis?” Maybe both were true. All I knew was that after my divorce and dad’s death in the same year, something had to change and most likely that was me.
How I Ended Up in the Jungle
I’m not exactly the positve type. I work in finance. But my therapist had been stuck on repeat for months, and a colleague who’d gone to the Peruvian Amazon rainforest, came back with insight… different. Better. Calmer. When I questioned him for details over drinks, he just said, “You have to experience it yourself. You should go” so that’s exactly what I did.
Picking a Place When You Have No Clue
The options were overwhelming. Some places looked like wellness resorts with prices to match—we’re talking $5,000+ for a week. Others were so bare-bones I worried about basic safety. I probably spent 40 hours reading reviews, joining Facebook groups, and DMing strangers.
What sealed the deal was a few text messages with the Ayahuasca retreat owner, an amazing man named Danny. He was refreshingly honest so I booked my spot that night.
Pre-Game: The Diet Nobody Warns You About
Two weeks before flying out, I started their prep diet. No alcohol, no drugs, no sex, no pork or processed food, minimal salt and sugar. I thought the no-drinking would be hardest, but it was actually the no-sex rule that made me realize how much I used physical intimacy to avoid dealing with emotions. Even the diet was teaching me things before I left.
Landing in Another World
Flying into Iquitos is wild—it’s the largest city in the world you can’t reach by road. The moment I stepped off the plane, the humidity wrapped around me like a wet blanket. The river cruise to the retreat was amazing.
The retreat center was…green and peaceful. My “room” was a platform with a roof, three walls, and a mosquito net around the bed. The fourth wall? Just jungle. That first night, listening to sounds I couldn’t identify, I wondered what the hell I’d signed up for, however I then found them soothing over the next few nights as I relaxed in this new environment.
The Medicine: Nothing Like I Expected
Everyone talks about “Mother Ayahuasca” like she’s this gentle, loving presence. Nobody mentioned she can also be a stern teacher who’ll show you exactly where you’ve been lying to yourself.
My first ceremony was rough. The taste—imagine a mix of butter and sugar—was the least of it. But here’s what they don’t tell you: the purging isn’t just physical. I cried harder than I had at Dad’s funeral. I laughed at the absurdity of my corporate job. I saw my ex-wife’s face and felt compassion instead of anger for the first time.
The Stuff Between Ceremonies
We had ceremonies every other night, with integration days between. Those off-days were even better than the medicine nights. Danny Took us around and showed us sereral different animals and we walked to the 1000 year tree in the jungle. It was a big walk but also amazing.
Coming Back to “Reality”
The flight home was surreal. How do you go from the jungle where you’ve been cracked open and reconstructed yourself to reality. I sat in the terminal eating a $14 sandwich, watching people rush by, and felt like an alien visiting Earth. I should have taken more time at the retreat to enjoy this amazing place.
The first few weeks were rocky. I’d have moments of profound peace followed by irritation at having to deal with the emails that were missed. My ex-wife called to check in (mutual friends had told her where I’d gone), and we had the first real conversation we’d had in two years.
What Actually Changed
It’s been four months now, and here’s the real talk:
I didn’t quit my job and become a yoga teacher. I’m still in finance. But I set actual boundaries now. I leave at 6 PM. I don’t check emails on weekends. My boss was shocked but hasn’t fired me yet.
I started dating again, but differently. Instead of trying to impress women with my job title and condo, I’m showing up as myself. It’s terrifying and way better.
I call my mom every week. We’d barely spoken since Dad died—too much unresolved stuff. Now we’re slowly working through it.
The anxiety that used to wake me at 3 AM? Mostly gone. When it shows up, I know how to breathe through it instead of reaching for my phone or a drink.
Would I Do It Again?
People ask if I’m planning to go back. Honestly? For sure. Some people say you should wait at least a year between visits to fully integrate. Right now, I’m still unpacking everything from the first trip.
What I know for sure is that it was worth every penny, every mosquito bite, every uncomfortable moment. I went looking for healing and found something better—acceptance of who I am, messy parts and all.
Real Talk for Anyone Considering It
If you’re thinking about going, here’s my practical advice:
Get your travel vaccines early.
Bring a headlamp with extra batteries. You’ll be navigating to the outhouse in pitch darkness.
The songs will get stuck in your head for weeks. I still hum them in traffic.
You’ll probably see some weird stuff. Just go with it.
The medicine gives you what you need, not what you want.
Don’t expect to be fixed. Expect to be shown what needs work.
The Bottom Line
I went to Peru broken and came back somehow more whole. Does that make sense? The cracks are still there, but now light gets in through them. (Yes, I just quoted Leonard Cohen. The medicine makes you do things like that.)
If you’re at the end of your rope with conventional approaches, if you’re ready to face your demons with nowhere to run, if you can handle being uncomfortable in service of growth—then yeah, maybe the jungle and Mother Aya is calling you too.
Even though some parts of it will be Instagram-worthy. Expect it to be real. Disconnect from that world. That’s worth more anyway.
An avid traveler, Kirk Grover has been to over 50 countries. He has an extensive background in tourism and hospitality management, along with a degree in Hospitality Management from the University of Nevada Las Vegas. Kirk is very knowledgeable about travel-related topics – they are always up to date on the latest deals for flights, hotels, and other adventures around the world.
